Remember I told you about the therapist I knew who would frequently say he was unlucky? He help the "cognitive distortion" that he was unlucky when in fact he was lazy? He pegged his misfortunes on his chronic unluckiness.
Give me a couple of "cognitive distortions" that you have heard from a client or friend or even one that you have used. How might cognitive therapy intervene to help to change these distortions of thinking?
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Well, I was speaking to a young man (freshman in college) that told me he is failing his classes already. The college semester has just begun, but he thinks he is going to fail. He goes to class and for the most part does try to complete all his homework. However, due to a sometimes serious health condition, he has missed a few classes. He is behind on some assignments but he can catch up. He has spoken to his teachers whi have agreed to help him but he still thinks he will fail. He wants ( he is ADD)help but won't seek it. Yet he going to fail. Are his thinking patterns distorted? If yes what can be done?
Start by giving him permission (encouraging him) to be anxious and fearful, and stress that these feelings are normal for a guy. Tell him that by truly accepting his fears he can take control of them. By taking control of them, they will stop controlling him. Then - and only then - can he begin to see his distortions of thinking as potential "self-fulfilling prophecies."
I have a friend who sees most things in a negative way. Whether it be with her family, which she has a husband and two children ages 19 & 15 or being at a social event. She turns everything about a situation into a negative, sometimes, even before the event starts. If we go to a school meeting together before we get there she already has negative thoughts about going. For example, we went to a home and school board meeting and as soon as we get there she starts with the negative comments about the people running it or the comments that they make. (The thing is she has no children at the school, they graduated but she still attends the meetings)(I'm not sure if she thinks she is going to miss something)She doesn't say her comments outloud just to the person who sits next to her. Negativity all the way....
Sounds good prof. HFS. I have told him that if keeps telling his self that he will fail, he will begin to act out what he feels and says. I did tell him that all freshman experience some anxiety once it hits them that they are in college and not high school. I told him that it is difficult but doable. He is trying to find ways to give up and quick. Is he exhibiting seal-defeating behavior as a defense mechanism aginst feeling the fear?
Donna, is almost sounds like she doesn't even know she is doing it. She has probably been doing it for years and by now is comfortable with it. Until, she sees that she is truly pessimistic through her own eyes, she will continue to just like.
My daughter is absolutely beautiful yet she constantly putts herself down. She tells herself that she is fat, and unattractive, her hair isn’t right, her smile is crooked, her make-up isn’t right, her skin is too oily, etc. This is distorted thinking that affects her self-esteem. She needs to see that her thinking is not accurate. I tell her all the time how beautiful she is, along with being smart and talented. I think a therapist would help her see herself as others do. I also think that there may be some unconscious unresolved issues that may be contributing to it. A therapist can help resolve these issues perhaps by bringing them to the surface as in the psychoanalytical approach.
Dawn,
My daughter gets that way to sometimes and no matter how much I tell her she is pretty she will say that because I'm her mom I'm saying that. Buth then somedays she is so funny she thinks she is beautiful. I'm not sure if it's her age (15) of if it is peer pressure at school and you know how girls can be....
Kim,
you are probably right, she doesn't know she is doing it. It's just a part of her personality now...
Years ago I had a unhealthy thought process which I like to call the "what if syndrome". Anytime I had a bad situation occur in my life I would start with the "what if I did this or what if I did that".It wasn't until I had a bad car accident which I walked away from scratch free but I couldn't let it go.While talking to my brother I started up with the what if's and he told why are you worrying about what you could've done instead of concentrating on what you can do. I have never forgotten those words and I still have my what if moments but I always go back to that conversation to put me back on track.
I have two daughters and unfortunatly this thinking is the norm for young ladies.Once again it goes back to the big picture what society and the media defines as attractive or unattractive.
Miguel,
Your brother has the right idea, concentrate on what we could do...
Miguel,
I hear ya about the "what if's". I do the same thing just in the opposite way. I suffer from the "it could happen". I am constantly worried that something is going to go wrong or that a loved one will get hurt. This all stems from the fact that my father was in the towers on 9-11. I can't seem to move forward from the horrible thoughts that it is going to happen again. I think I though of myself and my loved ones as invincible before that, and now I realize we are all capable of being hurt. I know fear is just a thought, but sometimes it's hard to remember that.
Cindy,
Although I can't imagine what your experience with 9-11 was like, I do understand a little about the "it could happen" syndrome. I seem to have one thing after another-my son and his SZ, my mom and her COPD, and now my brother had a motorcycle accident almost 2 weeks ago and is still on a respirator fighting pnuemonia. It's like anything can happen at any nmoment in life and I do worry about what's next? But I try to remain positive and live each day to the fullest, because you never know. All I can say is try not to be ruled by fear.
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